a serious beginning

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I’m sitting in my little sun- /family- /tv-room in my 1920’s South Minneapolis house, my gin and tonic perched precariously on the sofa arm, laptop open, wondering why it is so many people have told me I need to write a blog.  I mean, my life is BORING, by most standards anyway. I feel self-conscious posting a Facebook update…”The weather is nice today…Yay sun!” is not my idea of riveting content.

Seriously.  I’m a 43-year-old self-employed writer, a mom living in the Midwest–what do I have to say that will be worth anyone’s precious free moments? There’s infinite depth in my absolute lack of depth. So there, all you positive thinkers, you dummies who believe in me.

Seriously. Every day self doubt rears its ugly head, sometimes consuming me, sometimes lurking in the background.  And every day I beat it back.

And so tonight, at the middling, boring age of almost-43, I decided to really have a go at starting a blog.  Impulsively, and spur of the moment. I thought I should do it tonight, so I started writing.  If it sucks, you  know why.

The question I need to answer before I really begin this blog, though, is… “Why?”

Well, perhaps to prove I DO have something worthwhile to say, create a platform for my writing that allows me more freedom than my paid jobs. Perhaps it’s for other middle-aged women with two kids who can’t believe they’re middle-aged with two kids and have this horrible sense that life is passing them by. And wonder why everything got so serious all of a sudden.

Maybe I want to look at the possibilities, the tiny things I can do or think or remember, that mean I am still intrinsically interesting, gorgeous and growing even as I struggle each day just to keep laundry in check, and my marriage and kids healthy while I search for clients, new wrinkles on my face and a better way to organize my life.

There. I think I just started a blog. Seriously.

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot
    May 01, 2010 @ 23:25:18

    I guess everyone wants you to write a blog because you can WRITE, really write and somehow even when you write about nothing it’s still great.

    People just want to be in touch with you so even an update on the weather on FB becomes interesting in that context.

    And take heart, it could be worse, at least you’re not a middle-aged mum of three:)

    Reply

    • mollykelash
      May 02, 2010 @ 19:48:13

      Wow, Annabel — that is truly great praise..and from such a successful blogger! I don’t even know what my goals are with this yet, but I look forward to a bit of advice from my middle-aged friend with THREE kids! 😉

      Reply

  2. Karen
    May 01, 2010 @ 23:32:48

    Happy Birthday and congratuf#*@inglations on finding a creative outlet! Thanks for your courage and honesty. Can’t wait to read more.
    xo

    Reply

  3. Mom
    May 01, 2010 @ 23:53:03

    Wow, my daughter the blogger! I think this is a wonderful outlet — whether for the writing, star-gazing, or just trying to figure out what life is all about right now. I remember having similar questions when I was your age. And, even now, I sometimes wonder what I am going to do when I grow up. Sign me up. I look forward to future installments.

    Reply

    • mollykelash
      May 02, 2010 @ 19:45:10

      Thanks, Mom! It may be more like navel-gazing, but I try to keep it from veering into self-pity or whiny-ness…I hope you signed yourself up…I think that’s possible, but let me know if not…
      xo

      Reply

  4. Ariel
    May 02, 2010 @ 00:43:39

    I’m happy to call you my sis! I’m very impressed with your courage to “let it all hang out.” I certaintly have a few friends going through the mid life yuckies who can relate to the subject matter you are writing about (not to mention myself). Who knows maybe it will turn into a best selling novel. Aim high!!

    Reply

  5. Elizabeth
    May 02, 2010 @ 00:45:55

    Molly = I’m so glad you started this! You are talented writer and it’s a joy to read your work. Some of us are just wannabees and can learn just by reading this.

    Reply

  6. Dean
    May 02, 2010 @ 06:16:55

    Molly–your reasons for blogging sound a lot like mine (just replace “mom” with “dad”). Hecka hard for me at times to find topics that seem worthy of sharing, too–but you’ve inspired me not to worry so much about that. Just write well and with personality–as you do. Looking forward to future postings!

    Reply

    • mollykelash
      May 02, 2010 @ 19:37:56

      Thanks, Dean — I appreciate the plug from an accomplished blogger like yourself…not sure I can come with very compelling content on a constant basis, but this was not intended as another stressor in my life. We shall see!

      Reply

  7. Mary B.
    May 03, 2010 @ 18:30:53

    love it, Mol’, keep it comin’! Bet you didn’t know that every time I recount stories about our wonderful adventures together, I smile. You have more to offer than you realize. Cheers, cherie! ~Mary B. (another middle-aged mother of two…)

    Reply

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